Loving ALL Parts of You!
Portraits by Dagna
I recently shared with my personal email subscribers how beautiful it was…
for my spouse, son, and me to see the movie “Inside Out” last weekend. I have to admit that, as a scholar, movie time is always very analytical, as I always have my notes and pen handy to jot down quotes, ideas, and inspirations. But when seeing this particular film, I felt very emotional, despite it being quite easy for me to quickly connect the lessons on emotions from the movie to the vision and the work I am doing at the GEM Daughters Network.
Given my experience as one who grew up without a present father, I could relate to the bustling emotions in the mind of the main character—Riley. I understood that for most Daddyless daughters, the journey of understanding our emotions can sometimes feel overwhelming. In our past or even present experiences, the stakes of navigating life without the loving presence of a father figure bring their unique challenges, often leaving us exposed to an emotional mix of sadness, anger, joy, fear, disgust, anxiety, embarrassment, envy, nostalgia—you name it! But as the movie made me ask, what if every feeling we have—no matter how difficult—holds the key to our personal growth, healing, and transformation?
Our mainstream often informs us of how certain emotions ought to be better expressed than others. However, at its core, the movie teaches us that all emotions are essential to our well-being, and it will be best to embrace each one to live fully and authentically. Here are some key lessons on embracing our emotions and how they can apply to the personal journeys of every daughter who has experienced or is experiencing a dysfunctional father-to-daughter relationship.
Understand Your Emotions
As a daddyless daughter, it’s healthy to recognize that all your emotions are valid and serve a purpose. For example,
Joy seeks activities that bring you happiness and positivity.
Sadness allows you to process grief and loss.
Anger screams for justice and signals when something is wrong or unfair.
Fear helps you stay cautious and protects you from danger.
Disgust helps you set boundaries and avoid things that may harm your well-being.
Anxiety prepares you to deal with the situations you're facing.
Embarrassment signals you to be authentic.
Envy drives you to achieve and obtain more.
Boredom allows your mind to wander and reflect creatively.
Nostalgia renews your appreciation for the past.
Embracing Emotions
One of the most profound lessons is the importance of embracing your emotions. It’s okay to feel but not allow it to control you! In the movie, Joy initially tries to suppress Sadness, believing that Riley should always be happy. However, she eventually realizes that Sadness plays a crucial role in Riley’s emotional health. On the other hand, Joy, the optimistic leader of Riley’s emotions, is constantly trying to ensure that Riley is happy, even during tough times. However, Joy learns that it’s unrealistic to expect constant happiness. Meanwhile, Anger, Fear, and Disgust serve as protectors to help Riley navigate difficult situations.
For fatherless/daddyless daughters, it’s tempting to bury the sadness we feel about our loss. Whether it’s the absence of memories with a father, missed milestones, or the pain of wondering why things are the way they are, we may try to push those feelings down. But in doing so, we deny ourselves the opportunity to heal. As such, it is essential to allow yourself to feel and express sadness. Sadness doesn’t make you weak; it shows how human you are. It’s often through accepting and expressing your sadness that you find the strength to reach out, seek support, and begin your healing process. It’s through acknowledging your sadness that you learn to nurture yourself and find peace, comfort, and support from others.
You may also struggle with finding joy in moments where you feel pain, abandonment, or confusion. Yet, one of the most profound lessons to take from you is that joy can coexist with other emotions. It doesn’t need to dominate, but it’s always there, waiting for you to rediscover it in unexpected moments. Oftentimes, you may feel these emotions intensely. Anger at the situation we’ve been dealt. Fear of being abandoned again. Disgust at moments of rejection or lack of support. But instead of seeing these emotions as enemies, embracing them helps you establish boundaries, recognize danger, and make choices that align with your values.
When you allow these emotions to speak, you can better understand the areas of your life that need attention. Anger can push you to fight for what you deserve. Fear can encourage you to take necessary precautions. Disgust can guide you away from situations that don’t serve your highest good. Sometimes, the emotions show up as the joy of finding sisterhood in the GEM Daughters Network, the pride of achieving a personal goal, or the simple pleasure of a quiet moment of peace. Joy doesn’t have to be loud or constant—sometimes it’s found in the smallest acts of self-love and connection.
Finding Harmony
The movie also teaches us that a healthy emotional life requires harmony with all emotions—and not necessarily balance. Fatherless daughters may experience a wide range of emotions, from joy and love to anger and fear. However, it’s important to regulate these emotions and not let any single emotion dominate one's life. Daddyless daughters don’t have to live in one emotional state. You can feel joy and sadness on the same day. You can be angry and still experience moments of peace. Your emotions are fluid, and they all contribute to the rich tapestry of who we are.
Seek Support System
Riley’s emotional journey highlights the importance of support. When she tries to handle her emotions alone, things spiral out of control. It’s only when she reconnects with her family and friends that healing begins. One of the core essences of the GEM Daughters Network is for our members to have access to a powerful support system where they don’t have to navigate their emotions by themselves. We strive to create a love paradise where we can share our stories and lean on each other.
By embracing all parts of ourselves—the joyful, the sad, the angry, the fearful, the disgusted, the anxious, the bored, and other emotions that emerge—we move forward with resilience and grace. You are not alone, and your emotions are valid. Embrace them, and let them guide you toward healing, growth, and empowerment. If you know of any daddyless daughter or you are one yourself who struggles to embrace the many parts of yourself, feel free to refer or connect with me directly via LinkedIn or email: dew@doriswesley.com.
